Chirp Chatterer T-Shirts

"Do you think the birds like me?"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"It says here that study claims chimps and humans are 96% the same. What's your thoughts Derek?"

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

Ornithologist

"I've had 720 children. I hope they're all doing well."

'I recorded this earlier today. . . they're his first intelligent words!'

"Ding" "Dong"

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

Way too much anthropomorphising

'You know, I almost envy you sometimes.'

"Merry Christmas. You Cheerful, Chirpring, Cheeping, Tweeting, Tw*ttering, Twittering Tw*t!"

"Think about it. Have you ever seen an ugly cardinal—I mean, except at the Vatican?"

Men talking in a club house

"You turned all night long!"

"Wow, the gossip is that these guys are not mere birdwatchers, they're professional ornithologists here to study us! What an honour!"

'Every time you get ready to make a call, on your mobile phone, you reach for a comfortable chair. No wonder all that air time translates into large phone bills.'

'Honey, you're spoiling those birds!'

"The bird feeder is empty again."

"I like you - you're so bubbly!"

'No license?... You mean you're an illegal beagle?'

"Wow, that was short. You only talked for 45 minutes. What happened?"

larson you're a genius

Well, of course, the eggs are fresh this morning.

"Oh boy, I ate too much! I need to find a few pebbles to ingest..."

'This corn tastes funny. I heard they're leaving out the antibiotics.'

'I don't know why but these guys are fascinated with me...'

'Sorry, Tarquin can't come to the phone right now...'

Women after 10 minutes vs men after 10 years.

Miss Motormouth

'Tastes like tuna.'