Chipper Chum Gifts

"I like you - you're so bubbly!"

Text Culture

"Do you think the birds like me?"

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"It says here that study claims chimps and humans are 96% the same. What's your thoughts Derek?"

'I recorded this earlier today. . . they're his first intelligent words!'

"Looks like you forgot to pack your lunch again Bob!"

Way too much anthropomorphising

"Remember son, evolution peaks with us - chimps were in space before man!"

Monkey casino study.

He's a terrible climber, but he's pretty good with tools.

"You got the chip shop gig, then?"

Chimp, proficient in primate speech, outsmarts a lie detector.

"Careful...she bites."

"I think the dog want's to stay in tonight, Jennifer!"

Sport Darwinism

'Wait! Wash my dentures first.'

Coming out as a Conversationalist.

Sign on the door at Karate School.

"It's a mug's game!"

"No-one's noticed the difference yet. . !"

Celebrating the Chinese New Year of the Monkey

"Could you read me a dog-food label before bedtime?"

'Hey, I just noticed something. So you know what you get if you cover the 'c' in potato chips? Potato hips, isn't that funny?'

OUT of ORDER

'You're right - he's trying to communicate.'

Hello, I need to take back your cherry pie? Touch it and die. Mrs. Cohen, that pastry came from a bakery in China. We've since learned it might be toxic. Importing from China can be bad for your health. There's crust in your ear.

'We brought him here to be C...A...S...T...R...A...'

Mom's right. We both look and act like chimps.

Overdone bird jokes

"So much chum, so little time."

You know what sounds good right now? Chips.

Reverse psychology.

'Okay. Job hunting. Pure focus. No distractions.'