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The Way of All Duck Sauce

'Your French dip, sir.'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

'Pepperoni: Muse of Pizza'

"I've learned something about you tonight, Alan. You say 'chowmein' when you mean 'lomein'."

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

"I think we'll pass up the Château Mouton-Rothschild '34."

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

"Mom said never use that dirty 4-letter word on vacation...DIET."

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

A man and baby wearing bibs

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

"Can you recommend a wine that goes well with red meat, Zanex, and Lipitor?"

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

If traffic signs were used in everyday life...

'You may well have eaten fresher fish before but not in this restaurant. . .'

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

I always forget - is it white with dry food and red with wet food, or the other way around?

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

"Sriracha"

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"I'll have the Mediterranean truffle sea bass, pan seared, and thrown into my mouth from across the room."

"Get the meat loaf—I hit it out of the park today."

"George often brings his work home with him."