Chimney Whisperer Pillows

The Winter Chimney Cleaner

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

Where Deviled Eggs come from

'Superstock'

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

"Hold on. If we're free range, I don't think we should be crossing a toll road."

'Bar-B-Q lit yet?'

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"It's a destination wedding invitation. We have to cross the road."

Car Dentistry.

'In her day, she did all the work for me, now I'm doing all the work for her.'

"I'm making your favorite dessert, dear … seven layer cake."

"No, that was my twin brother. I was too chicken to cross the road."

'In this league, guys, it's all about winning. And we're like, what, 0 and 10? That's why coach got the ax.'

"One word from you when the wife gets home and you're next Sunday's roast!"

'You wouldn't believe the day I've had.'

Scientists have found proof that the mighty T-rex is related to the humble chicken.

'Your 11:15 is here, to ratify the new agreement.'

'Slow down,' I said... 'Watch that bump,' I said... Not only did we lose two of the kds, but who knows what kinda damage that's gonna do to the paint!

Architects and Engineers - Restoration of old Buildings.

"Sherlock Combs there said he believes it's an inside job."

Free Range Eggs - ""I've decided to sell up. I'm having trouble making hens meet."

'I'll take back 'Rotten Egg' if you'll apologize for 'Dumb Cluck'.'

"My God, you're right ... it all makes sense. I crossed the road because of my parents!"

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

Chicken standing on a platform on a stage with three horns in front of it and wearing a top hat; a sign on the side of the platform reads "National Endowment for the Arts - Seal of Approval."

"Stop son, council regulations state that we're not allowed to crow in urban areas..."

Egg!

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'