Chimney Mythbuster Pillows

With a round little belly like a bowl of jalea, he struggled to squeeze down our old chiminea.

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

'I wasn't responding well to the pills but my doctor finally got my mood stabilized.'

"Trust me, there is no subsidized lunch."

"Jim had to know what happens when you turn off your computer while it's updating."

"Dad, is there really no tooth fairy, or is that just fake news from some Russian bot?"

"If only you knew. . ."

Killing Santa

2019, 2020 and 2021

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

Christmas card access

"It's good luck."

'Your mother tells me you've started blogging! I have no idea what that means, but stop it immediately, or you'll go blind!'

"I envy you. I'd love to have a house with a fireplace."

UK Economy

'That stuff about elves helping me is a lot of baloney. I have a research center in Silicon Valley and an electronics plant in New England.'

"It's unrealistic for us to have a chimney, tree, or stockings, so you can forget about Santa."

Pied Piper gets rid of industrial chimneys.

MD to pregnant woman: 'You don't become immune after one child.'

Sanitizer

"That's my new bill. Now here's the Jersey Devil with the details."

"So Carruthers!...it wasn't a legend after all!"

'I sold all the bones to finance a Hollywood quasi-relgious cult.' Old Mother Hubbard and her son, L Ron.

"Are you kidding? If these were really my own, they'd be sagging down to my navel by now!"

'Your years of smoking like a chimney have taken their toll.'

"He thinks you're playing fetch."

This is not a scam. Send money and receive authentic 'This is Not A Scam' certificate."

Heating costs.

Farmer Pickles never knew how close he came to having the perfect Christmas.

Merry Christmas

"Naughty or nice? I thought in a post-fact world, anything goes?"

"You just ate! Wait 15 days."