Chimney Climbing Philosopher Pillows

Santa's chimney climbing is a fixation with mothers womb

"The whole neighborhood has an opinion on who the next pope should be."

Santa Claus Poops on the Chimney of the world.

The secret to happiness is knowing how to keep a secret.

'Sometimes I think about getting away from all this and get a job as a cab driver in New York city...'

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

Santa hosing the Chimney.

'Isn't it great?!'

Christmas card access

2019, 2020 and 2021

The Lonesome Highway - Next 30 Miles No Shoulder to cry on.

'They can be a real menace at this time of year.'

"It says here that they only grow in damp,shady locations."

Santa friendly home has giant chimney.

"It's unrealistic for us to have a chimney, tree, or stockings, so you can forget about Santa."

An Autobahn with an automatic transmission control

"Because its there? Surely we must have a better reason."

Sanitizer

The Postman's Winter Delivery

'I think the eight reindeer just look tiny by COMPARISON.'

'What a beautiful landscape!'

'Damn. I managed to get down this one last year...'

This highway is a test. It is only a test. Had this been an actual highway you would have been somewhere by now.

Farmer Pickles never knew how close he came to having the perfect Christmas.

'No, I didn't start smoking again! That's chimney you smell!'

Finally, after millions of years, evolution solves mankind's smoking problem.

'Atkins Diet, my Aunt Fanny!'

'You mean, it's not a laundry chute?'

"You smell like a chimney."

Factory Chimney

Leonard lay awake, staring at - at apparently creeping out - the ceiling.

"No, not really. I could probably tell you a thing or two about the meaning of life but I would like to know where the loo is."

Grand theft auto … you? Plagiarism. 13625A 13625A

Children critising Santas entry methods

"I said it's not often one gets one's chimney swept by a person with a B.A. from Sarah Lawrence."