Chill Lifestyle Enthusiast Pillows

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

'Nice, but it needs more angst.'

"I'm thinking of starting my own range of 'inactive' wear."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

Born to be Mild.

"My feet are cold."

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

Nobody warned Marge that a side effect of a hip replacement is feeling more hippy.

"Baldo, the summer is almost gone and you still haven't found a job!"

Glasses half full, half empty, half assed.

'Fred's a lot more relaxed since he began viewing life as just another spectator sport.'

"Business trip, eh? Gee, that's too bad."

"It's our best seller. Perfect for sitting idly by."

'His Dad was a couch potato.'

"Frankly, I could move a lot faster, but the truth is that I lack motivation..."

Hasta manana.

'I don't see how you were able to work for so many years. Since you've retired you can't do a thing.'

Summer Road Work

How to tell when Winter is really bad...

"So what do you plan on accomplishing today?"

Zerotasking

"When you have to shovel your driveway, stupid weather... When you've paid someone to shovel your driveway, stupid weather..."

"You've been listening to the mellow sound of Station EZZZ."

'I appreciate the calmness it would bring, I just have trouble letting go..'

'Have you considered having central heating installed?'

'My igloo has been toasty since I insulated with fiber ice.'

"I'm searching my family history in hopes of finding some generational trauma or institutionalized oppression that would explain whole I'm failing all my courses."

'For future reference, just the bottle goes in the chiller.'

Just chilling out...and you?

"It's cold, but it's a dry cold penguin."

I don't find having a goldfish relaxing enough any more. I think I'll get a hippy.