Children's Television Producer Pillows

Least popular puppet ever: kale monster!

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

TV jester.

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

Applause

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

"Downton Abbey Road"

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Somewhere in America... the day after "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" came to an end.

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

Senior Jeopardy!

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

The following wildlife film is sponsored in part by a grant from...Mother Nature Foundation.

'I love this street...it's so real man...'

Police film evidence

Next camera crew 5 mins

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

"True crime meets reality TV"

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'