Television Producer Pillows

Somewhere in America... the day after "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" came to an end.

"Our top story: bloody conflict, secret meeting, auto recall, drive-by shooting, more staff cuts, medical breakthrough. We'll be back as soon as we decide."

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

24 ? The Next Series. Jack says: 'Think I'll throw a sickie today.'

"Kids! No watching Bobby Flay before Mommy cooks dinner!"

Woman at Reality TV Productions Co. has in out boxes marked IN and IN OVER MY HEAD.

'Game shows were popular right from the start ? especially when the game won.'

'It's a new reality show about a reality show producer...'

Celebrity Cowboy Builders - As exposed on TV.

AD 64: Another contestant is voted off Rome's top reality show.

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

"Bad news, good news, sweetheart - the court rejected your appeal, but the networks are fighting to option it."

Prizes Include: A New Car, A Maui Vacation And The Grim Reaper

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

"I refuse to discuss my selfless passion for public service until my hair, makeup and lighting are perfect."

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'We need to focus more on these kind of shows. This is our target audience.'

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

'From the very beginning we felt that defeating the Big Bad Wolf would be meaningless unless we could parlay it into a book deal.'

TV message reads 'Please stand by. We are experiencing technical difficulties.' as a TV satellite plummets to earth outside.

'We want to assure viewers that no brain cells can be damaged during the transmission of this programme.'

A movie director shouting through bullhorn.

"I hate these 'fly-on-the-wall' type documentaries...they're nothing like real life...!"

Barbara Windsor

Distancing with the Stars

"He likes it."

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

'These soaps always kill off people to improve ratings!' 'Hey! Why don't they kill of the writers?'

'On a personal note, I'm happy to report that I've been promoted from the network's chief 'pundit' to chief 'pontificator'.'

Off-air comments.

'I've invented a box that's got nothing on it tonight.'

'Welcome to the Ted Turner dream network!'

'Hang on a minute - I think there's something else down here!'

Inspector Norse