Children's Care Comic Fan Pillows

"I'd like to request a transfer from the children's ward."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

Jelly I.V.

'I apologize, Mr. Wilson, that scream wasn't very professional of me. . . But that IS one ugly growth on your chest!'

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

Orthopaedist

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'

"I'm having you fitted with a monitoring device that will help reduce blood glucose during meals by automatically signaling the brain to reduce food absorption. It's called a belt."

'What seems to be the problem?' - 'I've got bubonic plague.' - 'Okay... so what symptoms do you have?' - 'Well, I feel chilly and I had a muscle cramp. They're both symptoms of plague.' - 'I hate Wikipedia.' - 'It says here that you should prescribe...'

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

'Now, don't panic, but I'd like you to take off all your clothes so we can burn them.'

Golf cart in the hospital.

"In hospital I received ten 'get well soon' cards...from the nurses."

"Ok, here's another one about antibiotics. . ."

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

"If it wasn't for my Hippocratic oath, you'd be dead by now."

"Now where was I?"

'For Valentine's Day!'

"The 'intervention' got out of hand."

"Can we cut down his tranquilisers please?"

"Take one three times a day after meals."

Well, it's a heck of a time to demand a second opinion.

"The treatment you gave me for my fear of confined spaces, didn't work."

'Too many tv dinners I'm afraid.'

'Well, Mr. Swine, it looks like you pulled a hamstring.'

'Botched attempt is correct. But can anyone suggest a more family-friendly way of describing what happened?'

"Lucky we caught it early. It's easier to treat in the larva stage."

'What's the problem?'

A nurse Reports A Patient's Condition To The Doctor.

'I had that for lunch!'

'Yes, I know I'm wearing dentures, but they're full of cavities.'

'Looks like a virus.'