Childlike Conversationalists Pillows

"So, what do you do for play?"

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

'If you'll excuse me, I'm going to work the room.'

'Casual Friday's never caught on in this department.'

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

No, no, don't tell me … you lost weight? You cut your hair? Wait, did you used to wear glasses?

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

'You're lucky you're just a kid and don't have to worry about things like going out and getting a job when you're supposed to be retired.'

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

Nice Old Ladies Tend to Look at the Bright Side of Things: 'As kids my brother and I took turns beating each other up!' 'Well, I think it's wonderful when kids take turns!'

'If you'll excuse me, I'm going to work the room.'

'No talking' sign at a fishing site.

'Let me go over your symptoms again; you have a 'gugu' and you're feeling a little 'bugaga'.'

Do you suspect me of ulterior motives? Let's put it this way: You're not a suspect; you're a person of disinterest.

"What can I say: It's nice to get away from the kids once in a while..."

Not quite Beverly Hills.

"The hardest thing I've ever done as a homing pigeon was to leave home, but you see, I really wanted to travel and see the world..."

'And he's so-o-o-o knowledgeable about wine. He must have spent an hour telling me about his trip to Chardonnary.'

"Phil is my Vice President in Charge of Snappy Comebacks."

'Great lunch box.'

"You haven't had sex since 1959? You shouldn't complain - it's only ten past eight now..."

'I take after my Daddy - He's a confirmed batchelor!'

'We're rich! We're rich! My mum's got goldstones!'

"What is it about us that makes only crazy people want to talk to us?"

"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."

"Not to be a killjoy, but this happened on our property. Are liable?"

"We could always adopt, like, 50 little bunnies from Asia."