Childish Charmers Gifts

"Wait. Let it breathe."

A family trying to make a child smile for a photo

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

The trouble was she never knew where to draw the line

"Don't worry—it's just a phase."

'Just tell him you've been good. Don't overdo it.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

"When Irish eyes are smiling...sure...they steal your heart away."

Samurai offspring.

"So like, it's so cool to finally meet you in person."

"Don't you just love them when they're that age?"

Snake Charmer

'I adore a man of many parts.'

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

"You had me at hell."

'He's a born politician.'

"What do I bring to the company? I'm relentlessly cheerful and able to handle pressure."

"You are a very beauty woman. May I buy you a coke?"

An Irishman unfamiliar with how a telephone works

'Little Tommy is so romantic - He's letting me mind his tadpoles.'

'Ohhh....I love your accent!'

"...and wagging your tail isn't going to get you off the hook."

"You're looking good today. Is that a new dress? By the way, I'm sure this is a mistake...maybe you can raise it to..."

'So, your place, or my mother's.'

"He's a little shy around people."

Sex and the Old City

"So baby, how about coming back to mine for a quick roll in the shit?"

'The dog and cat followed me home, the bird flew in the window and the fish swam up the toilet. Obviously I have animal magnetism.'

By borrowing his niece every Friday night, Vern had found a surefire way to meet women.

'What church do YOU go to?'

Christmas Bra.

'Hey, Thunder Thighs, Bean Pole's here!'

'Sign here please.'

Once again her smile had failed to light up the room.