Childish Charmers Gifts

A family trying to make a child smile for a photo

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

The trouble was she never knew where to draw the line

"Don't worry—it's just a phase."

'Just tell him you've been good. Don't overdo it.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

Samurai offspring.

"So like, it's so cool to finally meet you in person."

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

"Don't you just love them when they're that age?"

'I adore a man of many parts.'

Snake Charmer

'He's a born politician.'

"What do I bring to the company? I'm relentlessly cheerful and able to handle pressure."

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

"You had me at hell."

"You are a very beauty woman. May I buy you a coke?"

An Irishman unfamiliar with how a telephone works

"He's a little shy around people."

'Little Tommy is so romantic - He's letting me mind his tadpoles.'

'Ohhh....I love your accent!'

"You're looking good today. Is that a new dress? By the way, I'm sure this is a mistake...maybe you can raise it to..."

'So, your place, or my mother's.'

"...and wagging your tail isn't going to get you off the hook."

Sex and the Old City

'What church do YOU go to?'

'Hey, Thunder Thighs, Bean Pole's here!'

"So baby, how about coming back to mine for a quick roll in the shit?"

'The dog and cat followed me home, the bird flew in the window and the fish swam up the toilet. Obviously I have animal magnetism.'

Christmas Bra.

'Sign here please.'

"Hot enough for you?"

Once again her smile had failed to light up the room.