Childhood Stories Fan Gifts

Winnie Hits Pooberty

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'I told you we should have done the balloon toss.'

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

Tooth fairy

Wanda takes a more proactive approach.

"This tire raced in the Indy 500."

'This bed comes with a remote monster-under-the-bed option.'

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

"Some women to see you, Anne."

'Believe me -- you don't want to know what I did on my summer vacation.'

'Forget the doctor! Just keep your eye out for the stork!'

Little Miss Muffet Does Lunch

'During my childhood I had imaginary playmates...One night they stole all my toys.'

'Oh yeah, well, MY DADDY can scare ELEPHANTS!'

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

"'My Summer Vacation', read by the author. All rights reserved."

"I know about the tooth fairy, but I feel a bit young to be selling off my body parts!"

'You're the mother and those are your children? -- I'd like to see a DNA test.'

Teacher reading.

"That'll be two incisors and a molar, please."

"Before you kiss me good night, will you promise me there's no Kiss-Cam showing it somewhere?"

'According to this book(The pied piper), the only thing you have to do is to play the pipe: The rats should then follow you...'

'try moderation next time!'

Careful

"Let's just take the Kosciuszko."

"The dish and the spoon? Huh. I did not see that coming."

'One medium curds-and-whey pizza for a Miss Muffet?'

"Three pizzas: One too hot, one too cold, and one just right."

My mom put the clips on because I'm always losing my gloves.

I've heard that you've beaten the Hare, so I've come to challenge you...