Childhood Sociology Gifts

"So, what do you do for play?"

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

Teddy bear with a red balloon.

Tree house.

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

"Can Olaf come out to pillage and plunder?"

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

'He's maturing early.'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

"And with you on guard, I won't have to worry about that monster under my bed."

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

Baby Screen Time

"Recess does things to a man."

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

'Don't touch that tooth, dad. I'm expecting the tooth fairy at any moment.'

'Their daughter plays the violin.'

Kindergarten. Today; Simon Says. I don't know who this "Simon Says" is, but he could make a killing in product endorsements!

Serious Putty

Playground Pipe Dreams

'I want to chuck all the spelling and math and just get back to playing with blocks.'

He wanted a different one.