Childhood Magic Lover Pillows

'Don't touch that tooth, dad. I'm expecting the tooth fairy at any moment.'

Is it true Santa Clause is holding Rudy hostage? Of course not. Where'd you hear such a thing. On Candorville.com. It's a real news site, not a fake news site. Billy, Billy, Billy. There's no such thing as "real news." "Real news" is a fairy tale parents tell their kids so their childhoods will be a little more magical. But Santa, he's real, isn't he? Of course he is. That's why I sell Santa cookies. Do me a favor? Don't tell my mommy I know "real news" is fake. It makes her happy so I'll go alo

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

"Here we are."

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

Desert Island BBQ

You do know it's Harry Potter who's real and JK Rowling is just one of his spells?

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

Primitive magician

100% carbon neutral

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

"I said slime."

"I can't believe he brought her."

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

Broomstick crash.

Kiddies Menu for Witches

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

"I just need help getting the pit out."

Rocket and Witch Race

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

'See how the fools flee when fantasy role-play is fantasy no longer!'

'Take two eyes of newt, and call me in the morning.'

Witch's Brew.

I tried working with Houdini, but he wanted me to escape from a straight-jacket before jumping out of the hat...

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

Juggler and Illusionist

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"