Childhood Innocence Observer Pillows

"Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake... Well, that would be pretty rotten thing to do, God, seeing as I'm only eight years old."

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

3 cents glass - Exact change please, seller can't count.

Child Brings Teddy Bear to Vet

'If I promise to be good for the next 30 years, can I have some sweets Dad?'

Teacher to king and queen: "He keeps invading other children's space."

"He added the computer, TV and cable box. Apparently, sand wasn't enough."

"Forgive me Father, I'm about to sin."

'Isn't this marvelous? True love and we haven't lost our milk teeth yet!'

"I was about your age when I, too, started having security concerns."

Doing timeout changes a guy.

"Are you going to have a baby too, Uncle Fred?"

"Those aren't drones. Those are birds. You need to get out more."

'Star light, star bright, first star I...' 'No.'

She's started, like, talking, and you're not gonna, like, believe what her, like, first word was!

"Maybe little Jack Horner became argumentative because he was backed into a corner, leaving him no options."

"Oh yes, you have to keep an eye on them All the time!"

"It's hard to believe the adults think he's so lovable!"

"Sorry, but you can't be friends with a page! Pages become squires, then knights: our mortal enemies!"

"I'm putting all the profits back into research."

"Watch yourself--we're under surveillance."

"Oh, no! Now you know my secret identity as Toilet Paper Man!"

"Ah, the carefree days of youth."

"It's called a 'bookmark.' It's like a 'save progress' option."

"Don't worry, I won't sell your personal information."

Mom to other about hyper kid: 'Our little firecracker was born on the fourth of July. That's why we named him 'Boomer'.'

They grow up so slow.

'When you can hear the sound of one cheek pooing you will have learned, grasshopper...'

Child watching a rocket launch which reads 'war'.

'Typical of a boy - yesterday he wanted to marry me. . .'

'How did the shoot the lion without breaking the glass?'

'I'll bet you didn't know the inside of our chimney has little ledges...'

"My Mom's getting a bonus at work. I hope it's a puppy!"

''Show and Tell' is NOT an invasion of privacy!'

'no... NO!'