Child Starting Sports Gifts

Vive La Résistance.

Kid uses his violin as a golf club.

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

"I AM at my usual position."

Perils of the double play.

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"

'Here we go again...'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

Future Wrestler

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

Olympics create interest in curling.

'It's all right, miss, I'm only loking for our cricket-ball!'

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

"...and then while I was at soccer practice they moved house."

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

"I have goals in life. Just last week I scored three goals!"

'I bronzed his first pair of running shoes.'

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

'Yes, Haffner appears to be tiring...'

"Mr. Reynolds can't go out to play until he wraps up the Walderson contract."

American footballers with numbers correlating to their size.

'I'm his MOTHER. I KNOW he was safe!'

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

Cricket with a hamster in a plastic ball.

"I play 'backside'. My 'backside' is always sitting on the bench."

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

Little League Registration: "Um, I think we're gonna need to see your birth certificate again, son. . ."