Child Performers Mugs

Four children playing the flute.

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

They hated me.

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

Showbiz Awards

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Extreme miming"

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

A Guide to Balloon Animals

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

George Michael

Cow Show Tunes

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"I'm the only sane artist in the world."

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

"Bravo!"

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

Jack Gleeson

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"I can't believe he brought her."