Child Gifts

"It's my smallpox vaccine scar. . ."

Zumma Cum Laude

Russian Doll Christmas

"But, remember, you're responsible for your own happiness."

"It's true. You were actually born a beautiful princess, but you were given to us to be brought up... and there's not a damned thing you can do about it!"

"They had their names removed using the right to be forgotten."

'Let me guess, you're 'Sneezy'.'

Child with a junior chemistry set in the complaints department.

"What the hell happened in P.E.?"

'Hey! Who left the television off?'

"Go and spread the Gospel. Hide it in colorful, little eggs for the world to find and be delighted by."

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

"Go ask your mother."

"Tell us that really scary story again... the one about how they make chicken nuggets!"

'I told that boy no snacks before dinner, , ,'

"Ma! The cool kids at school won't let me play!"

Papa bear plays the stockmarket.

"Where's the ball? Where's the ball?"

"Your mom cooks the chicken, but your dad makes it dance."

"He followed me home! Can I keep him?"

"Now, where was I?"

"In return for an increase in my allowance, I can offer you free unlimited in-home computer tech support."

An Honest Graduation Photograph

"...and so the little corporate raider grew to understand that "unethical" was not the same as "illegal", and he lived happily ever after. The End."

'Ok...on the count of three, we evolve into piranha.'

The dream works when the team works.

Non-Uniform Day Today.

Kidneys / Adultneys

'My finger's stopped bleeding. I must have run out of blood.'

Yale shadow

"Thanks to separations, divorces and remarriages, I've got 20 grandparents."

'I'm afraid I still have more questions than answers.'

'What happened in school today? Read my blog.'

'Soon, you will start to notice changes in your body... massive, horrifying changes.'

'Daddy doesn't know why birds migrate. Ask me about ways to avoid probate.'