Chic Canine Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Of course they're real diamonds! It's a designer coat: She wants me to match her purse...'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"I was almost that last year."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

Dog Dressed to Eat

"I actually had this haircut before I became a mom."

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

Why would a dog wear a hat?

Mrs Sutherland and her American Hairless Terrier.

Dog wearing jumper to hide his spots.

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

'Try the steak tartare...it's okay.'

'Are you SURE you switched off the electric blanket, luv?'

Dog Park Zoom

"What's all this?"

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

A skinny dog drawn with zen brush.

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

K9 Literati.

"Watch his feet - if he doesn't step into the throw, he's going to fake it."

Being able to digest news quickly is a sure sign of intelligence.

Dog Sees Only Food

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

"You've got to lay off the homework."

Dogs and Cake

"And everything from my dig is brought here where it's identified, classified, interpreted, and the eaten."

'Harvey, I'm afraid the dog has the mailman intimidated.'

"What's worse, that or this?"

Dog Show: Worst of Breed