Chew Toy Aficionado Pillows

'I had no idea a puppy could be so destructive.'

Occu-Pie Mars

Tartine

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Any time is cake o'clock

Rage.

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

The Rubber Ball Company

We did a biopsy on the mole we removed, and it turns out it was just an old piece of chocolate.

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

Our visit to the flan factory.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

Love is when you watch television together.

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

Why can't you just chew the squeaker out like normal dogs?

Ice Cream Dreams.

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

His Her Cakes

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

Toy plane with pilot eject.

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Have you seen my dad?"

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'