Chemist Coach T-Shirts

'I know Pasteur didn't work under these conditions, but Pasteur didn't have fifty companies trying to steal his trade secrets.'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

Reach for the Star.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'We look for a new drug, we find a virus - we look for a new virus, we find a drug...'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"I think I may have stumbled on something, Walpole."

Carbon Dating.

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Interdisciplinary studies.

The Style of Elements

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Time Is Money

The trauma of losing.

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

Scientists are sexy

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

Go! Means NOW!