Chemical Mishap Enthusiast Pillows

'I will not mix chemicals unless I know what they are.'

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

"An excellent interview Mr Twinglestop, now is there anything you'd like to ask me. . . Apart from home to switch off your 'cat filter'?"

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

'No, Mr Zarynski...you've got the hospital gown on backwards.'

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

'I can't turn it off.'

spellchecker

FDA will 'Regulate Tobacco'.

A sporting gent practising for the hunting season.

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

'I wish McWit would lead a life of quiet desperation.'

Dyslexic Palm Reading

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

"Please—no technology questions!"

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

Paramedic Mistakes.

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

"Well... the good news is we've dealt with your ingrowing toenail..!"

"When I yell 'CLEAR' that doesn't mean you."

The Mysterious World of Ligand Substitution.

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

Broken hospital sign.

'He accidentally brushed his teeth with hemorrhoid-shrinking cream.'

Dr. Mooglum made two mistakes. First, he stuck the stethoscope on the patient's forehead, and secondly, he replaced the end with a suction cup.

"Then we'll just mark it 'Do not shake before using'."

Two hunters and a near miss

Sorry, you rolled off the table just as I was going in!

"I told him 1 tranquilizer every 4 hours, not 4 tranquilizers every 1 hour."