Chemical Industry Gifts

"I'd like to know why we're selling elements to the companies, and then turn around and buy compounds from them."

Spot the difference.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

'Unforeseeable future site of Hainesmore Industries.'

Got stuck in Iraqi oil, Unca Sam?

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

Snake in the grass...

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

'No way! To fund health, education and welfare, we'd be forced to tax oil companies!'

'... And that's where I'm seeking planning permission to build a secret uranium enrichment plant...'

Take me to your leader. . .

'I'm inventing an acid that eats through anything.'

Tata: Goodbuy or Goodbye?

Is this what they call inherent safety?

Ethanol and foreign oil.

Molecules You Ought to be Aware Of.

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'

"At this point, we know it's addictive."

"Back in the industrial age, this was, I believe, a steel mill."

Keystone XL

'Here it is - the world's largest miniaturization plant.'

Terrorism premium on every barrel of oil.

"We ship ours from Deckville to Lyleport."

Acme Petroleum, since 1925 and 9/10.

'Who is to blame?'

"We're using genetic engineering to modify the molecular structure of a plant's natural cellulose. We convert selected parts of the plant into plastic!"

Venezuela: 'He's got Castro's kicking style.'

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

"Take no notice, Blendie, it's just Brent, being his usual, crude..."

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

Conversion of food products to petroleum substitutes - Conversion of petroleum products to food substitutes.

"It's work! Look! My plan is working!"

"We need to improve our environmental credentials, tell everyone on the rigs to start using recyclable cups."