Chemical Concoction Creator T-Shirts

"...I suggest we call it Greenspanium"

'Ever since my Westinghouse scholarship, it's been all downhill.'

Toadstools

"Boss is coming! Discover something!"

'What? You used a Welshman? The recipe specifically calls for a scot!'

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

Micro-Brewed Brain Beer

Witch in drugstore: They're endangered now, so I need a newt substitute.'

'Because we're still part of society - that's why we have to go organic.'

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

'Try my health brew...1% fat, no cholesterol, high fiber and low sodium.'

'I really love this stuff, but I still have a lot of trouble with sushi.'

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

"Eye of newt, not eye of tiger."

'When I first saw here I thought I'd died and gone to heaven, but not with beer at these prices!'

'I can't wait for a generic version of eyes of newts to come out.'

Remember how I came in on December 31st and ordered a lardo-size fudgsicle sugarbomb mocha with butter sprinkles? Well, give me another one of those. Since it's something I originally had last year, it'll be like I had this one last year too. So it won't violate my New Year's resolution. The ancient art of Time-Shift-Fu. I'm a tenth level grand master. I studied under Moe Yin, the master who created "it's not really 'cheating' if it's with an ex."

'Love is a Drug'.

'...To be fair, the chemistry teacher didn't ask your Son to drink his practical exam.'

"And now from downtown!"

"Ulrich, that's bad science and you know it!"

"Not moonshine - small batch, artisanal grain alcohol."

"What a coincidence, I'm an influencer too!"

"This mixture of herbs and spices will rid the casa of ghosts! I will send them fleeing into the night!"

"Any cocktail can be a shrimp cocktail if you just set your mind to it, and if you carry lots of loose shrimp in your pocket."

The slow cooker changed everything

For Witches of a Certain Age

'My Brew's really hoppy. . . I use the whole frog!'

'The Food and Drug Administration is really cracking down. Now we have to list all the ingredients in our potions.'

"Are your hands clean?"

"Organic frog, tongue of gluten free dog, wing of sustainable bat..."

Ew, no! Kombucha is disgusting.

"... No, I don't want you to add, eye of newt and blood of bat... This is our porridge!"

'It works. So what if the Food and Drug Administration doesn't approve of it?'