Cheeky Chappy Admirer Gifts

Jimmy Green won't be at school today, this is my father speaking...

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

Elephant ass selfie.

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

'Bernie, you're not gonna have anything disgusting to hurl at zoo visitors if you forget this.'

"What a coincidence! I enjoy sleeping and running around the house for no reason, too."

Ladmag - Caution, immature content.

Barbecue: Touch the Chef Inappropriately!

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

"Hey-look, honey! We screwed our tails off!"

"You're definitely in the top 1,000,000,000 people on this planet."

The King's New Robes.

"Where can a fellow find some loose tea in this town?"

The Living End.

Keister Island.

'I'm not a wine snob. You're a wine ignoramus.'

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

'Rudolph! Now I know the secret of your bright and shiny nose!'

'The Businessman's Lunch won't cut it, hon. We want the Businessman's Orgy!'

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

'Anything worn under my kilt? No. Well-used but not worn!'

'I've never seen such a big sausage!'

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

'You only want to do it when people are watching.'

'I want some lessons in back seat driving.'

'...And this is the lads' trophy room!'

Let's play hide-the-sausage!

'Dang, I told him to take a shower before we sacrificed him to the volcano god!'

'There's always one.'

'You, lad. ' 'Yes. Mr. Scrooge.' 'Go to the butcher's...I'm feeling very horny.'

'I'd recommend the top deck - you can see down ladies tops better.'

'If this prescription doesn't help, go to Maggie Brown's party next week. There'll be a specialist there.'

Ha Ha! Better Luck Next Time.