Cheeky Chappy Admirer Gifts

Jimmy Green won't be at school today, this is my father speaking...

Elephant ass selfie.

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"What a coincidence! I enjoy sleeping and running around the house for no reason, too."

Ladmag - Caution, immature content.

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

Barbecue: Touch the Chef Inappropriately!

The King's New Robes.

"Hey-look, honey! We screwed our tails off!"

"Where can a fellow find some loose tea in this town?"

'Anything worn under my kilt? No. Well-used but not worn!'

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

The Living End.

'Rudolph! Now I know the secret of your bright and shiny nose!'

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

Keister Island.

'The Businessman's Lunch won't cut it, hon. We want the Businessman's Orgy!'

Let's play hide-the-sausage!

'...And this is the lads' trophy room!'

'I've never seen such a big sausage!'

'You only want to do it when people are watching.'

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

'I want some lessons in back seat driving.'

'Dang, I told him to take a shower before we sacrificed him to the volcano god!'

'There's always one.'

'I'd recommend the top deck - you can see down ladies tops better.'

'You, lad. ' 'Yes. Mr. Scrooge.' 'Go to the butcher's...I'm feeling very horny.'

"You hearing aid you miserable, mean, catankerous old git."

'If this prescription doesn't help, go to Maggie Brown's party next week. There'll be a specialist there.'