Checkout Jester Pillows

'You've got 11 items in there.' - 'I know. But yesterday I only had nine.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

Never poke fun.

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

"It's from Henry VIII, sire. He's going to be in town and wants to know where the best hook-up spots are."

What a delightful family. Give them to me at once.

'Do something else - I don't like irony.'

Tescos: 'Oh no! There's no chocolate at the checkout!'

'You're the first person to ask for a shopping hour in addition to a lunch hour.'

"Must be the life to work in a castle. You get paid by a rich king and you don’t have to go through every shift smelling elephant butt."

King and clown engage in role reversal.

"Work's been really hard."

'That's Jeb Lambert. He was actually the first one to say 'paper or plastic'. Before that everyone said 'plastic or paper'... I mean, can you imagine?'

'Dear, this is gift shop number 3. You now owe me 1 bait & tackle, 1 hardware store, and a bar.'

Farce Book

Grimm's Fairytales - Rumpel-Stilts-Kin

'Yorich's last jest.'