Checkout Humorist Pillows

Express lane - zero items.

12 items or less. 12 items or else.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

Only One Item or Fewer.

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

Seven deadly sins store

"How much of this stuff can I eat before it can no longer be returned?"

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

Bookshop with Best sellers getting pushed into the Remainders basket.

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'

Great moments in shopping

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

Shopping Trolley

''Have you got any cockroaches?"

"What's this I hear about you opening an account at another bank?"

"Your prayers may be recorded for quality and training purposes and will be answered by the next available deity."

"Instead of BOGOFS, I'm going to implement FUCOFS."

"I'm not sure. Maybe it's my wife's butt size I'm thinking of!"

'Lucky they've got a glazer'.

'Sir, wait! You can't go yet! The register hasn't finished spitting out all your valuable coupons.'

'He certainly knows how to make a customer feel welcome.'

"If you want something firmer, I suggest you try our flooring department."

Fresh milk - Self service

'Is it my fault the supermarket trolley had a mind of its own?'

'Sorry, the bag boy's down with the flu,'

'Which eight do you want?'

“Ever thought of changing your name?”

'Unexpected item in bagging area.'

'Oh that's actually for here, not to go.'