Checkout Assistant Pillows

'I can never find the barcode on these things.'

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"This is daring, but I like it."

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Only One Item or Fewer.

Penguin suit fitting.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

How would Madam like to pay?

"At first I thought I'd hate it, but now I have to have it."

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

We stock ALL sizes...

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

'You've got just 2 minutes to pack then you are on OUR time and I'm going to start charging you rent!'

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

'I'm a football referee - I'll have a box of red and a box of yellow.'

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

Sale on Three Piece Suits, $10, 300 Polyester.

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

Shop assistant hands over 'eco' shopping bag, saying: 'Would you like a bag for that?'

'These pajamas come with a flak jacket sewn into the lining to protect against the 'Stop Snoring' elbow in the ribs.'

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

All Major Cash Honored.

'You'll find that these really let your feet breathe'

Sold It All.

'And it comes with an accompanying dictionary.'

'You wished to see the house red?'

'She's O.K. Thanks all the same... She's just 'shopped 'till she's dropped!''

"I advise you to take it, Madam, before Washington puts its foot down."

'No thanks, just looking.'

'Or if that's too expensive, why don't you bring yours in for a nice paint job?'