Checkout Assistant Mugs

'I can never find the barcode on these things.'

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"This is daring, but I like it."

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

Only One Item or Fewer.

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Penguin suit fitting.

How would Madam like to pay?

We stock ALL sizes...

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'You've got just 2 minutes to pack then you are on OUR time and I'm going to start charging you rent!'

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

"At first I thought I'd hate it, but now I have to have it."

'I'm a football referee - I'll have a box of red and a box of yellow.'

Sale on Three Piece Suits, $10, 300 Polyester.

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

Shop assistant hands over 'eco' shopping bag, saying: 'Would you like a bag for that?'

'These pajamas come with a flak jacket sewn into the lining to protect against the 'Stop Snoring' elbow in the ribs.'

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

Sold It All.

All Major Cash Honored.

'And it comes with an accompanying dictionary.'

'You'll find that these really let your feet breathe'

Monster Sale: "And just what sort of monster is madam looking for?"

'You wished to see the house red?'

'Or if that's too expensive, why don't you bring yours in for a nice paint job?'

'She's O.K. Thanks all the same... She's just 'shopped 'till she's dropped!''

Retail store: 'put this on and shut up!'