Cheating Scrutinizer Gifts

'The pitcher tested negative for steroids. The pitcher's mound we're not too sure about.'

Opportunities in Coronatimes

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

Nuclear Security Summit

CATCHY NAME

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

"Yes, you paid for the product and the plan, but there's an extra charge for actually using it."

"There must be an app for this..."

Will sneak through the woods and throw your ball back into the fairway.

"Government requires that we lower the bar."

'At least I'm not accused of being envious, lustful, greedy, prideful, gluttonous or wrathful.'

Truth in Labeling: 'Snouts, lips, jowls, cheeks and viscera enclosed in intestine and served on a bun, Mustard optional.'

"Robert prays for the answers."

'Hey, there's a spot - pull in there!'

Sprint race about to start. One contestant wearing a rocket attached to his back. The fuse is lit ready to help him win the race.

"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."

Gonzo Marketing - batteries not included in batteries.

'Apparently it's not suitable for the elderly or children...'

The System is a Punishment for a Past Life

GP motto 'If in doubt call it a syndrome'

'I removed the sugar, artificial flavors, coloring, preservatives, and additives. Now the eight ounce box weighs four ounces.'

'I knew there was a catch! Only fifty calories per serving but one small box contains eight serviings.'

"Careful, Rocky. You're about to give away the secret behind your knockout punches."

Cheating at golf.

Say It Ain't So, Ho

Smoking Gun

Popular audit

'The danger of similar packaging.'

"$865 attorney fee, $198 title insurance fee, $150 administration fee, $135 title search fee, and heck, let's add a $200 'at this point the client probably won't notice anyway' fee."

"Really?

"Wait! That's not a decimal point! It's a dead fly!"

'Could you give me details of where I can find the nearest Post Office.'