Cheap Drinks Fan Pillows

"Hic!"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

The Alpha Seltzer

Baloneystini

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

Friday 5.30pm.

'Do not stand while the room is in motion.'

'Is your cap on tight? We don't want any more accidents in the bed, do we?'

"I'm glad you like this new brand of coffee, Joni. The label said "fast-acting," but who knows what that means!"

A complimentary biscuit

"I think our way is more elegant!"

Wishing Well

Hipster Coffee

"What out... this guy's always gatecrashing events for free booze."

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

Proctologist drinking beer labeled "Butt Wiser"

"You get paid family leave, ten vacation days, health insurance, and there's a bar right next door."

Sausage

Blues Nite Pub

Sod off Home Hour

If the dragon was romantic.

'Whatever he's drinking.'

Let the good times roll.

Wine-O'Clock

Man Misses His Television Set

"This is why I like my wine chilled."

Superman's Final Years

'Dear Customer - Due to economic cutbacks, this year we have produced a 'Round Robin' Christmas Card...'

Fish Umbrella

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

'Y'know, I'm glad we kept it small.'