Chatty Cultivator Gifts

Talk about agricultural work.

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

My diagnosis? Restless tongue syndrome.

Sulk Shows

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

Old MacDonald had a genetically modified farm.

'Do you come here often?'

The Weather Channel. We're looking for someone who can talk up a storm.

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

A guy tries his luck at the water cooler.

Communication

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

"Look—I appreciate your talking to me, and I know you mean well, but you're boring."

'Two thousand seedlings - and I can't bring myself to throw any of them out.'

"Who remembers when food wasn't genetically modified?"

"I say 'tomarto', he says 'tomayto', I say 'portarto', he says 'potayto'. Why else do you think we're here?"

"If you need me, I'll be in my room watching YouTube videos, texting, Skyping and blowing off my homework."

"Oh, that? It pops up when Bob's social battery runs out."

"Today's alpha-lesson is 'become a vapor.' Wherever you are, be it a broom closet or a baseball stadium, carry yourself as if your body fills the entire room. Greet people with your arms out wide. Have a wide stance. A booming laugh. A wide open smile. Becoming a vapor is the best and most legal way to mark your territory."

'I suppose you want to be served.' - 'No, but I wouldn't mind being included in the conversation.'

'He's great at communicating, but it's office gossip.'

'I thought she'd never shut up!'

Alexa and Siri girl talk.

'I'm good at making people feel comfortable, Ozzie.'

"He can't stop digressing."

"I don’t know, Taylor – it seems to me, anyone who doesn’t talk to their dog is crazy."

"We grow all our own bad-tasting ugly things."

Well, I should really get ... uh-huh ... yeah ... uh-huh ... Listen, I need to ... uh-huh ... uh-huh ... Hey, I gotta ... Uh-huh ... yeah ... uh-huh ...

'When another barber cuts your hair, who does the talking?'

"Wow, that was short. You only talked for 45 minutes. What happened?"

'She dialed a wrong number and she and the other lady have been having fun ever since.'