Chatty Colleague Survivor T-Shirts

"Pardon us, Harrison, if the board fails to share your enthusiasm for the foliage up in Darien,"

What price beauty?

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

Corp H.Q. In the corporate world, do you it's what you know or who you know? Neither, it's what you know about who.

Office zombie.

'It's from my staff...make sure it's not carnivorous.'

Social Notworking

"The key is to keep the momentum going when you're establishing the base of the snowman..."

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

"The originator of the office birthday party."

Dadonomics

Let's talk about the weather.

Why are you here?

'Have you noticed it, too?'

'It's not your work, Hannon - it's your attitude.'

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

'If his old company was so great, why didn't he just stay there?'

"Now, just to review, at the last faculty meeting we established that Marcia hates Fred, Fred hates Carol and Marcia, Carol and Larry despise me, and I hate Larry, Marcia, Fred and Penny."

Chat host's irritation at 'Hello, how are you?' greeting.

'Thank you for coming...I'll be ok...grief is the price we pay for love...'

Education Payroll: 'We're trying to resolve your salary problem or, at the very east, put you on hold for th rest of the day.'

"Passengers, as we begin our descent you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

'I'm hoping to get a rise from my boss.'

Kindly readers, we are currently exploring a sensitive aspect of modern dating: The unrequited cellphone message. Two hours ago, Rudy left such a message for his girlfriend, Laurel, and she has yet to call him back. In another era, this would not necessarily be cause for concern. But with portable phones, some believe a delayed response might be a message of its own. She almost certainly left me for Larry Kudlow. Or her battery's out.

It came from the group thread

D*mn it.

"Hi I'm Trevor, I'm new here!"

What do you do...I don't know why I'm asking, I don't give a toss...

I'm comfort breaking my ass off here!

Small talk vortex

'No, I didn't call you a degenerate.'

'I must remember to keep my mouth shut when the other guy is serving.'