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'Howdy! I'm Melvin Yomp and this is Small Talk TV! It's raining here! How's the weather there?'

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"Could I ask just one question?"

'Yak, yak, yak.'

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

My diagnosis? Restless tongue syndrome.

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

'Actually, my mom was the first to notice he'd lost that new boyfriend smell!'

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

'Do you come here often?'

The Weather Channel. We're looking for someone who can talk up a storm.

"I'll have to go now, Penny. My boyfriend keeps wittering on about something or other!"

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"

'Nothing like some tea and symphony.'

A guy tries his luck at the water cooler.

Look at me multitasking. I'm shooting the breeze, checking invoices and drinking coffee.

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

Communication

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Social media messages

After talking one stranger to death, Velma starts in on the next.

"I'm incredibly happy - must be the medication speaking."

'Got time for a little girl stalk?'

"Honey, please don't talk to Daddy when he's in a chat room."

"It's so nice to be home, mum, and have unrestricted use of the telephone again"

'I know exactly what you mean...men are such hot heads!'

"Your mother never goes back on her word,son-just on and on and..."

'He may be loaded, Tammy, but he's still a dirt-eating worm.'

"We have ways to make you stop talking, you know."

"If you need me, I'll be in my room watching YouTube videos, texting, Skyping and blowing off my homework."

"I'm just going to te hairdressers. They've got some new gossip in."

"So like, it's so cool to finally meet you in person."

Let's talk about the weather.