Charting Champion Gifts

Hey, curing is an art, man! And as an artist I may sign my work, right?!

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

Sales chart is buildings in background.

"So, what did you do at charter school today?"

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"Right, before we look at the covid figures for today, do we need another sheet of paper?"

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

Economy - USA.

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

ACME Balloon Company.

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

Soaring Profits

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

Business is off the chart.