Chart Chuckler Pillows

"But before we continue let's pause for a few moments of madcap wit and zany one-liners."

'Step One...a pie chart is not dessert.'

Pie Charts, Inc.

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

'Fancy a swift half?'

Lady sees door sign next to ENT: 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'.

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

tax

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

Keyboard in Heaven

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"I don't know. I just don't think this 'bowling' thing will work."

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

'It's too LATE to show remorse!'

'Bless you!'

"Still fat."

"It's Billy Graham ... he doesn't want to stop preaching!"

"I keep getting into a flap."

Pluto Named Dwarf Planet

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

Yoga - moooooooo.