Chart Chicken Pillows

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"One of the most compelling graphic presentations I've ever seen!"

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

'By golly, I think we've got ourselves a prodigy!'

A guide to seasons in the North East

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

"At least we're consistent ... "

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

'Would you please wipe away this difference?'

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."

"Pie chart"

"Now at this point reality intruded."

'I don't know what it means in the stock market, but in the medical profession it means you're dead!'

"We don't believe in miracles. We rely on them."

"He's been using the new virtual reality data viewer and climbing bar graphs..."

Man climbing line chart, planting profit flag.

'It soon became obvious, this stranger meant business!'

"Congratulations on your entertaining presentation skills Smith, and the way they hide your dismal sales figures!"

'I never knew there was a common ancestor of man and chicken.'

'This red line indicates the change in this red line over a period of time,'

Pie chart - What were we studying, again?

Fat Man Viewing Pie Chart Thinks About Real Pie

"As you can see, it's pretty simple - just find the customer and make him buy."

Likes Charts Likes Pie

'How do I tell the president we're looking at an ampersand-shaped recovery? He still doesn't get the supply curve.'

Houdini re-incarnated.

'This chart has no correlation to data. It's just to us feel good about our big bonuses and perks.'