Charmingly Contradictory Characters T-Shirts

"Do you have anything that will help me get rid of an irritating mantra?"

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

Ballet Lovers

Romance in Pink

"It took the better part of seventeen years, but you finally get me."

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

Lover

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

"The woman I marry will be beautiful, a great cook, intelligent, pleasant and rich."

Zorro does algebra.

'I believe in kizmet and it is our destiny to be friends for life.'

'Cologne sir?'

"You know Mike, you're so boring, you're interesting!"

"I give this to you as a token of my love and commitment, and mistrust."

Big dog little man.

Married man talking to a bachelor.

' That's the first time we've had fireworks in the bedroom! '

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?"

'I've had it with your bright, sunny, upbeat...'

Worker is confused at the Paradox Parcel Company.

"That's Ben. He's utterly ruthless and calculation, but in a nice, midwestern sort of way."

'What did I say to annoy you? I may want to say it again.'

'Have you read about the millionaire who dresses like a hobo and gives money to those who are kind to him?'

'That dog won't hunt.' Bird dog in a pink tutu.

'Traitor! I hate you!'

"Sure, it will be an eyesore, but after we build a lot of them, it'll fit right in!"

"It took a lot of soul searching, before i became a success."

"Our marriage license....expired three years ago!"

Isolated Shower

"Ron, look, a rainbow!"

Schoolboy.