Charming Salesman T-Shirts

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

Why we need poetry. . .

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

You're the olive in my martini

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

'May I have the key to your heart?'

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

"You have a certain kind of charm, haven't you, Mr. Beadle? Well, that's all right. I'm not totally opposed to charm."

Lover

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

'Hello, handsome - is that a Billy Cotton ringtone?'

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

Ralph Higgleton, marketing prodigy.

Bank Checking Accounts. Yes, deposits are guaranteed, sir --- but withdrawals aren't.

Social butterfly

"The woman I marry will be beautiful, a great cook, intelligent, pleasant and rich."

'I'm afraid I can't do business with you, Miss Carstairs -- you're just too damned cute.'

'Charles, we hired you distinctly because you're a people person.'

'Cologne sir?'

"I don’t know if this is just the cashews talking, but I find you absolutely delightful."

"I think Wendy likes me... she kept the spitwad I threw at her!"

'I do kiss up, but there's no tongue involved.'

"Shaving your head takes the guesswork out of going bald."

"Hey, baby - that doesn't mean you!"

Like a fine wine, some me improve with age.

"Leverage', by Goldman, Sachs."

"What do I bring to the company? I'm relentlessly cheerful and able to handle pressure."

"Man cannot live on bread alone - he needs a bit of crumpet too."

My mother was right about you. I guess I can take that as a compliment as long as I don't ask, "How so?"

"Eddie, my favourite rep - you've got three minutes."

Randy, if you could be ANY superhero, which one would you be? I'd be Randy-Man. He came to earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. He's slower than a speeding bullet, because he takes his time in all things. He can change the course of a lady's evening with a single smile. I don't think The Avengers would have much use for Randy-Man.

"A charm offensive—why didn't I think of that?"