Charming Gentleman Pillows

'Cologne sir?'

Why we need poetry. . .

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

"But don't let my wacky tie fool you. We actually take business very seriously around here."

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

"Ladies! Ladies! Do you wanna roll my Mercedes..."

Romance in Pink

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

Lover

"He's such a gentleman, he didn't use a 'mating call' to attract me: he's developed a 'please join me on a date' call..."

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 1

His movember moustache made him feel very distinguished.

"The woman I marry will be beautiful, a great cook, intelligent, pleasant and rich."

Social butterfly

'Charles, we hired you distinctly because you're a people person.'

"I don’t know if this is just the cashews talking, but I find you absolutely delightful."

Colonel Bagshot.

"Hey, baby - that doesn't mean you!"

Two sides to a question

"Daddy? How do you keep your hands so soft?"

"Man cannot live on bread alone - he needs a bit of crumpet too."

Bartender: 'Take it from me buddy,stay clear of that one.She's only interested in your money.'

Like a fine wine, some me improve with age.

Gentlemen

Gentlemen's graffiti: 'Your Mother is merely an adequate cook.'

". . .'Something to give the man who has everything'?... How about my phone number?"

A Bad Time for John Thomas.

Dyslexia (dog barking backwards).

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 3

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 6