Charlady T-Shirts

"Huh! Men...."

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

'Two hundred and nineteen.'

Golf with a difference

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

Golfer wears 'How's my driving?' t-shirt.

The Cat's Alarm Clock

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

The latest craze in party games: needlepoint charades.

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'Where's my horse?'

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

'Eh, love. The one armed bandit at the end of the bar isn't working.'

Sunshine and exercise. Are you glad I suggested we go for a walk?

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

'When I want your opinion I'll sack you!'

No early morning tea past this landing

Goldylocks and the Three Beers.

'You made me jump.'

"Blowing the whistle is perfect for a sports bar to let its patrons know that Happy Hour is over."

Ladies' Game

'I don't eat red meat. That's ok, this is gone green.'

"Jim, just put that hole behind you."

"Give me one, three and five pints please."

'When I first saw here I thought I'd died and gone to heaven, but not with beer at these prices!'

'You're pushing food round your plate.' 'No, it's moving on its own.'

'These are my 'golfing socks'... there's a hole in one!'

'Glass of hot water please, I want to wash the cutlery'