Charity Ponderer Pillows

"Did I just give, or did I give wisely? That is the question."

Cut out the Middleman - All donations go directly to me.

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

Retirement Issues

The rich, the poor and the terrorist...

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

"I think the idea behind coin collecting is to get one of each kind, not all of the same kind!"

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

'At last you can put your feet up and concentrate on worrying about your pension.'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

"If we want to get across our warnings about the dire consequences of not saving for a future then we need powerful dramatic message!"

"I want my job back."

'I'm new here. What type of retirement plan do they offer?'

"Think about it: State-of-the-art tar preservation! And then, when we eventually find a cure for this extinction thing, there YOU are! On the ground floor!"