Charity Guru Pillows

Dotcom begging.

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

At the 2021 Religious Games

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

Thank you bubbles

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

Guru.

Kirsten Johnson

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"Do you ever have days when you can't seem to rise above petty politics?"

"Tia Carmen, if times are tough, how come you're giving money away?"

Government and Opposition

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'We do spend a lot and tax a lot, but it's the price you pay for living in a money-based economy.'

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

OM, SWEET OM

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"