Chaos Masters Pillows

'Oh my God, we've been burgle- ... oh wait, I just remembered, we've got children.'

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

Future garbage truck driver.

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

'Hey, everyone! I think I found the bottleneck!'

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

"Hold on a second, Bob. I'm putting you on a stickie."

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

"Do you realize that you and I have it in our power to cause quite a brouhaha?'

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

Caution: use only under child supervison

"Isn't it obvious? I'm writing the great American graphic novel."

Stockwell's day

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

"I'm making a list of everything we have to do before we go away so we can freak out in some kind of order."

"But mom, all you said was 'get all your stuff up off the floor!' "

'This is my natural habitat.'

'Your father and I support your career aspirations, but we feel you need a new practice space.'

"My mom said a tornado hit my room. I checked my weather app, and it said clear skies."

Women pay for one hour of uninterrupted sleep.

Turn Down For What.

'I didn't want to get the napkin messy.'

Man falls through ceiling - 'Did you find the leak?'

A Mom's Purse

man juggling career, home and children

"Gosh! Look what he's done to his Harry Potter books..."

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

Repletion.

Disorder in the Court!

"A tornado? Uh, yeah...that's exactly what happened, Mom, a tornado did hit my room!"

Businessman with novelty in and out baskets.