Change-averse Thinker T-Shirts

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Cactus seats.

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

"Things are looking up!"

You are much more likely to think outside the box if it is broken.

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

'Harrison, going against your better judgement has made us a lot of money...'

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"

"I have a recurring nightmare where the paradigm keeps shifting without me."

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

'The company wants us to embrace change, but I'd personally prefer a quick handshake.'

"It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full if you have a case."

"Jack! Would it kill you to just once try evolving?!"

"Well, by that logic no one would ever shave a clock onto a monkey."

"I didn't want this book to end, so I stopped reading it midway."

"He's a loose cannon with nothing left to lose, but he's the best damn file clerk I've ever seen."

"You asked to see me, boss?" "Yes, Rudy. We have a serious problem here." "I'm going to need you to stop humming the 'Star Wars' theme 24/7." "Disney is notoriously litigious. If they catch wind that you're publicly performing the theme, they may sue the cafe for royalties." "Daaaa... daaaa... duh-duh-duh daaaaaaa... daaaa... duh-duh-duh... wait, what?" "If you cost me my livelihood, I'll do to you what Han did to that Tauntaun."

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

"What if my bliss happens to be suing people?"

'Yeah, I hate change, too.'

Trump

'I've turned another corner in my life.' 'One more corner and you'll be back where you started.'

Guru Shifted Thinking

The Light at the End of the Tunnel