Champion Of Laziness Gifts

A Day In The Life Of... Deflector Man

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

"I'm thinking of starting my own range of 'inactive' wear."

Research and Development: Now, Never.

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

Bob’s Museum

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special message from your teachers..."

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

'I need to do more exercising? Are you kidding?! I'm a kind of marathon runner! I run from the bed to the fridge, then to the table, back to the fridge and then to the TV, back again to the fridge and retour to the TV day by day!'

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

"I kicked the idea of mowing the lawn into the long grass."

Using the skill of pottery to make athletics trophy.

"Do you mean am I busy busy?"

Eventual Motion Machine

I know hard work pays off in the long run, but goofing off has such immediate rewards!

Procrastinator's Leap.

"I have to go. I have another coffee break on seven."

Couch potato thinks: 'This sure beats having a life.'

'Yesterday you pulled 8 muscles when you sneezed. I think it's time you started exercising again.'

"Of course it's blank, my essay is about writer's block."

Spoiled Cat.

The 1 Minute Scape Goat.

How cats play fetch.

"Youngsters these days are spoilt,apart from the triple-bypass,five divorces,4 estranged children and cirrhosis working 80 hours a week never did me any harm."

Over-qualified?

Nothing gives me a greater feeling of accomplishment than not accomplishing anything.

'NEW Down hill exercise bike'

"I'm just basking in the glow of my not screwing anything up today."

Clown King

'He was competitive to the very end.'

!I'd prefer to lie here and do nothing - but half a loaf is better than none.'