Champagne Rebel Gifts

"I get no kick from champagne."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

Thou Shalt Not!

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Garlic Free Zone.

Lockdown casserole

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"Valet park only"

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

The Bare Minimum

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"I'm unable to process this image."

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

A souped up car...

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

Woman reads Nigella Lawson cook book: 'Add butter to the mixture, remembering to moisten your lips ... whisk for three to four minutes, pouting throughout ...'

Recipes.

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

"You betrayed her trust. You added spices to her soup. In Tia Carmen's eyes, you are an irresponsible youngster...and I don't blame her for doing this."

Fuzz - there's a rumor about the band that we only play Metallica covers...

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

Fuzz - the bass player auditions.