Champagne Rebel Mugs

"I get no kick from champagne."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

Thou Shalt Not!

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Garlic Free Zone.

Lockdown casserole

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"Valet park only"

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

"I'm unable to process this image."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

The Bare Minimum

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

A souped up car...

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

Recipes.

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

Lou Reed

"You betrayed her trust. You added spices to her soup. In Tia Carmen's eyes, you are an irresponsible youngster...and I don't blame her for doing this."

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

Fuzz - the bass player auditions.

'No you idiot! You're supposed to smash your guitar AFTER the show! What are you going to play now?'

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"