Chalk Connoisseur Pillows

"Just as I thought - chalk dust! Take a break from clapping erasers!"

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

Dog Walker

Shaved Ice

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

'Fill her up. No ice - it takes up valuable space!'

Next Round Indicator

Magic coat fixing problems while walking the dog.

'Thank goodness next week we'll be in a new dynasty and we can make some other style of pottery.'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'Console 3GMEGA3D plus 3K+SUPERAUDIO USB 35,000.000 MGB...'

"On second thoughts, I'll have it stirred, not shaken."

'Well, it was just a first draft.'

'Thank you for noticing, Shirley - but beauty comes at a price, It hampers my hunting, limits my berry picking and typing's a real pain,'

'Same problem every morning. What to wear..?'

Man tries to remove a cocktail umbrella.

'Evil Olive'- An evil olive has taken out his co-workers with cocktail swords.

Spring Water

"Harrison, you fail to comprehend the meaning of cursive writing."

"I'm married but I'm separated."

My Philosophy take #74

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)

They said he couldn't have a two-liter soda, and he just went crazy!

Bahrain F1

'Must...find...something...intelligent..!'

'Your kinect is broken.'

"I think we should call it 'The Poo.'"

"12 German beers and 12 French Pastis. . . this guy is a true European!"

Crowbar